Tale of the Uterine Timeline

Preface: This is one of those "oh no she di-n't moments. You know the ones that makes you want to throat punch her. Oh yeah, it's that good.

My MIL held a "bridal tea" for me shortly before I married her son.

After milling around with her friends (99% of whom I had never met) for a couple of hours, I was invited into the dining room where my MIL stood on a stool high above the group.

It was at this time she announced to all present that her son and myself would be waiting at least five years to get pregnant and that even then it would probably not happen because I am overweight.

This is the same woman who sent me both a diet book and a steak package from Omaha Steaks for my birthday a couple of years ago.


I bet her MIL can knit you one of these classic uterus dolls too. But first she'll have to stand on a stool and announce to all the world that she in fact can knit a uterus. Heck, I bet she'll knit your uterus for you.

Tale of the Short-Order cook

We used to get along. That is, before I married her son. . .

I had just had a baby and we were visiting her home. She was feeding my little one and we were rationally discussing the possibility of the baby becoming a picky eater.

I told her that I would not be a short-order cook and cook him whatever he wanted. Kids won't starve themselves. If they are hungry, they will eat. Therefore, I would put out something nutritious and hoped he ate it. If not, then he doesn't eat. No big deal.

She told me that she would cook whatever her kids wanted. Brownies, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, whatever they wanted. (Healthy, no?) And I explained to her that her son (whom I love and married) is still like that. He will only eat cheeseburgers, french fries, fried food in general. I explained that I'm not a short-order cook.

She glared at me. And said, she does it for her husband.

I told her that my husband was a grown man. And if he doesn't like what I put in front of him, then he can cook something himself.

I glared at her.

Welcome

Welcome dear internets to the all new Mother-in-Law Mayhem blog! This is a place to anonymously vent about, you guessed it, your mother in law.

::cue creepy Twilight Zone music::

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And start reading. Afterall, she can't be that bad, can she?